The Bible teaches that sex is to be experienced within the safety and sanctity of the marriage covenant. This teaching is intended for each person’s good and for the health of the marriage relationship. And where sex can be a strong force and motivator for getting married, sex should not be allowed to be the defining aspect of a marriage.
Relationship is what defines marriage, not sex. Sexual intimacy is created to be only one component of the very multi-layered and complex relationship between a husband and wife.
The relationship of marriage was created so that men and women do not have to be alone if they desire an intimate relationship. Marriage was also designed to be a relationship that can create, protect, and nurture children. While sex in marriage should be an affirmation of the relationship, it should never be allowed to define the sum and substance of a marriage.
Of all human relationships, marriage is unique as it involves four types of love—friendly, romantic, familial, and unconditional. It is only in marriage where all of these aspects of love coexist and interplay with one another.
Erotic love and sex can be powerful forces and sources of energy within a marriage. Yet, sex alone should not define the quality of a marriage, nor should sexual difficulties be allowed to diminish other aspects of intimate expression and marital joy.
While sex in marriage should be an affirmation of the relationship, it should never be allowed to define the sum and substance of a marriage.