Being in a healthy marriage can be one of the most validating, enriching experiences that life has to offer. Sharing the companionship of a spouse who loves you, desires your company, and seeks the best for you can help sustain a deep sense of personal well-being. On the other hand, nothing can be more demoralizing or create feelings of personal failure, rejection, or worthlessness than a failed marriage.

Your personal identity and the awareness of your self-worth should be brought into your marriage, not created by your marriage. And when the Bible teaches about the oneness of marriage, it centers on the unity of purpose that marriage offers, not a consolidation of two individual personalities into one.

As individual identity and worth may be strengthened through marriage, a person’s worth and value should not be destroyed by divorce. In order to remain emotionally, mentally, and spiritually intact regardless of life’s circumstances, a person’s significance and life’s meaning must be anchored in a sound self-concept, not the adoration of a spouse or the success of a marriage.

Healthy concepts of personal spirituality have been communicated to us by our divine creator in the form of scripture written by inspired writers and recorded in both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible. And within the Bible, there is no question that the ultimate message of scripture affirms that all people have irrevocable and immeasurable value and worth, no matter what life brings.

Personal failure is forgivable and a disrupted life is recoverable, but only if one’s self-condemnation does not obscure the redemption promised through belief in the life and teachings of Jesus Christ.

Your personal identity and the awareness of your self-worth should be brought into your marriage, not created by your marriage.

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Some things to do for the week

Day 2: Reflect on the message and scripture reading; journal if you like
Day 3: Pray for or meditate on what you think you need
Day 4: Discuss the message and scripture with your spouse
Day 5: Plan how you can best respond to the message
Day 6: Rest; don’t think about the message or the scripture; listen in the stillness
Day 7: Recommit yourself to your marriage

Applicable scripture listed under Discussion References.