Beliefs based upon the biblical teachings about life and about the relationship between a husband and wife are good nutrients with which to feed any marriage. Good information provides strong building blocks for the foundation of any life-long relationship. However, beliefs alone, even if scripturally-based, are not the “silver bullet” that will guarantee a good marriage or prevent trouble and divorce. The rate of divorce among Christian believers is about
the same as the divorce rate among the general population. What is missing?
Knowledge about marriage creates the standard, but it takes something more than just knowing and agreeing how a good marriage should work in order to actually have a good marriage. Beliefs based upon knowledge must be allowed to challenge ways of thinking, change behaviors, alter lifestyles, promote good will, permit forgiveness, encourage humility, and support sacrifice. Beliefs only held at an intellectual level, even where the facts are correct and even if based upon biblical scripture, will not by themselves generate the personal transformation that is necessary for a couple to relate to one another in ways that will result in a meaningful marriage.
Knowledge-based beliefs must move beyond “should do’s” and the associated guilt for falling short. To be effective, beliefs must result in changes in ways of thinking and acting that actually support the belief. Beliefs that are to make any difference must be accompanied by courage, conviction, dedication, and action. Where well-founded beliefs about marriage become the substance of a marriage, the necessary ingredients will be present to provide a marriage what is needed to grow and endure.
To be effective, beliefs must result in changes in ways of thinking and acting that actually support the belief.