Week 35: What Sex in Marriage Is Not (Part 1 of 3)

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Sex is one of the greatest gifts of marriage, but it is not “the” greatest gift of marriage. It is intended for pleasure, building intimacy, and has the purposes of recreation, affirmation, and procreation. However, as a married person, it is important to understand that sex is not intended to be the basis of your identity or the defining point of your marriage.

Even in the best of marriages, sexual performance will wax and wane. Entering into marriage expecting you and your spouse’s sexual performance to always be the same as when you first got married or expecting your sexual performance to define the health of your marriage are unrealistic expectations.

While the heat of passion for newlyweds can be intense, things as simple as fatigue, diet, age, pregnancy, or a new baby can alter the landscape of your sexual life. Furthermore, when the act of sex is misunderstood or over-rated, it can weaken or destroy the marriage bond. It is only when the act of sex is treated with realistic expectation that it can be a reinforcing element
of the marriage bond.

Ultimately, every married person should understand that personal worth is so much more than the ability to have sex. Should disease, physiology, separation, or life circumstances create a physical challenge, no person is less of a man or a woman if they become impaired in regard to expressing themselves sexually. Loving, showing intimacy, and being a friend and faithful
companion is what the real focus of marriage should be.

It is only when the act of sex is treated with realistic expectation that it can be a
reinforcing element of the marriage bond.

Some Things To Do For The Week

Day 2: Reflect on the message and scripture reading; journal if you like
Day 3: Pray for or meditate on what you think you need
Day 4: Discuss the message and scripture with your spouse
Day 5: Plan how you can best respond to the message
Day 6: Rest; don’t think about the message or the scripture; listen in the stillness
Day 7: Recommit yourself to your marriage

Applicable scripture listed under Discussion References.